Disappearing beauty

“I thought that being beautiful was the most important thing to my career. I didn’t ever think about what would happen if I woke up one day unbeautiful.”

By: Ariel Fair

July 3, 2013

I thought that as a young adult my looks would take me farther than my intelligence. Not the richest person in the world, I was always pressured by the need to have the latest threads, coolest hair and make up. Although I was smart, I thought that being beautiful could take me farther than any textbook. That’s normal for any girl with confidence at my age. I just didn’t think about what would happen if beauty disappeared. What do I do then?

Being an over weight teen, I secretly admired women who had wonderful shapes, funky and elegant hair and had people hanging on to their every word. I wanted that. I wanted to go to Hollywood. I wanted my name to be a common household name. I even thought about changing my name to something that had Hollywood written all over it. I wanted fancy houses and cars and by the age of 18 I devised a plan to get it all. I honestly never thought that being rich, powerful and admired would over take my realistic thoughts.

I grew up in a small town in South Carolina so all I was used to seeing was normal living. I began to stare at the television and wondered what it would take to be America’s Most Beautiful Woman. I took into consideration getting a nose job, breast reduction, liposuction, and braces to fix all of the blemishes that I thought I had. Seeing Hollywood on TV was like living in another world. I was willing to do anything to get my foot in the door. Today, I still hold on to hopes of being a star. My path to stardom by this time was much different. I kept up with the Kardashians, the latest trends, and took my hair through a series of changes. Instead of diving into the pool of entertainment, I decided to go to college, start a career and desperately hope that Hollywood would still accept me if I wasn’t young and attractive. I longed to be an actress (sexy, mysterious and seductive) and by this time I started learning the ropes. Still yet, beauty in my book was a must. When people told me to search my soul for my deepest desires, I searched my makeup bag for the latest palette of eye shadow from MAC or L’Oreal.

Sitting back watching the lives of those famous and around me, I discovered that I still envied them in a way but my ideas of happily ever after had changed. Still wearing the same clothes from last year, rocking the same style for 2 weeks and noticing that my make up skills are far less advanced than a professional, my idea of the perfect life was unrealistic. I discovered that being beautiful landed me working hard on a normal 8 to 5 job and living like a normal American citizen. I even heard a story about a woman being fired from her job because she was to beautiful! Beauty is over rated. I had to learn to appreciate myself. Beauty is a matter of the mind and it took me forever to learn that. The truth is my identity makes me beautiful because I’m not some carbon copy of the person standing next to me. I’m an original. Beauty indeed disappears when you become something other than what you were intended to be.