Almost three years ago the New York Times published a piece
about Black Women and fat. The author starts off her writing giving statistics
about diabetes and cancers and then she goes on to say, “What we need is a
body-culture revolution in Black America.” Being an overweight black female, I understand
that I have a weight problem. However, is it only black women that suffers from
“fat-lash”? Reading Alice’s article I was quick to make the piece about race.
However, obesity doesn’t have a specific color, gender or age. Truthfully,
Alice is right, we are fat because we want to be.
I could think of countless times when I’ve said , “Hey I
need to work out” and never do. I’ve said the same thing about eating
healthier. Truth is, I consistently make excuses. Working out is the easier
part of losing weight but when push comes to shove, its hardest when you have
to change your mindset.
Some women pray for a bigger chest, the right curves and a
jiggly ass. For me being beautiful isn’t that simple. Women are beginning to
push forth the idea that you should love the skin you’re in no matter what. Who’s
to say you aren’t? However, do you want to love the same skin that is losing
its elasticity because the fat is stretching you like a rubber band? Realistically even the people I gawk over has
fat on their skeleton. When Kim Kardashian was pregnant I looked at her and
thought, “even if she doesn’t have any wit or functioning brain power, she has
a body like a normal person”. Growing up
it was taboo to wear anything over a size 9. Society had strict guidelines about
being a fat model. Even fat models lost their “pudgy cheeks and kangaroo
pouches”.
Men once upon a time cheered on the extra “cushion” his
woman packed behind her. Some men actually like “more cushion for the pushin’”.
However, when do the woman look at herself and think “oh this enough”. When I gave
birth to my first child, I weighed 300 lbs which was the largest I have ever
been in my life. The weeks after I’d given birth I lost weight and I was seldomly
eating. Then I found myself starving and back to the refrigerator I went.
However, I never understood how being Black and overweight
was any different than being white and fat. Logically, the fat is the same but
the environment is different. I’ve noticed while going grocery shopping, eating
healthier is far more expensive than eating cheap, greasy fast food. I’ve
noticed that in a middle class white neighborhood, there are places like the
Whole Food Markets and their grocery stores have better selections of produce
and meat. In the poorer neighborhoods you have the corner store or poorly kept
grocery stores. Maybe it’s a figment of my imagination, but the poor minority doesn’t
have equal access to a healthy variety of food.
That doesn’t change the healthy initiative that we should be
taking. Eating healthier now is far cheaper than the Diabetes I’ll possibly
acquire that will coincide with my double chin or excess back fat. In the future, being over weight will no
longer be apart of my vocabulary. To date, I’ve lost 20 pounds. For most that isn’t
a lot but for a girl with low self esteem on the inside it’s a leap of
motivation. Losing weight has always been an ongoing battle for me. Maybe it
will always be. Truthfully, I don’t want my daughter to remember the excess
skin that hung from mommy’s neck. I don’t want my husband to love me because I’m
beautiful the way I am. Most of all, I don’t want to be the girl broken in the
dressing room because I cant fit anything.
